I have 35 year old twin friends who have a wonderful life. They travel constantly and are immersed in their professions with great success. In their free time, they enjoy sleeping and reading a lot. However, when they get together with their family on the weekends, the aunts always start with their speech about why they don’t have a boyfriend and, even worse, why they haven’t married and had children.
Although my friends have learned to navigate these questions with silences and half smiles, it’s always awkward. They repeat that they are happy as they are and that having a family is not in their immediate plans. In fact, that option may never come and they are perfectly fine with that. The decision not to have children is a personal choice that more and more women are making around the world.
Why am I writing about this if I have three children? Have I ever regretted having them? The answer is no. Be a mother It is something that I love deeply. However, I think it would have been useful if someone told me something like what I am going to say to you, who are reading this article and perhaps considering the decision of be a mother: Motherhood can be a rewarding experience, but raising a child does not automatically guarantee happiness in life.
Actually, the satisfaction you get from be a mother It depends on many factors, some of which are within our control and some of which are not. Therefore, those considering motherhood should carefully weigh these factors before making a decision. If you decide be a motherbe prepared to work hard to achieve that satisfaction and be willing to face the challenges that may arise along the way.
I fully support the choice of those women who decide not to be mothers, since it is important for our evolution as human beings to regain control over our bodies and decide for ourselves what we want to do with them. No one should make that decision for us. Despite this, the choice not to have children can be difficult for many women due to peer pressure and cultural expectations that make them feel judged or misunderstood. However, for some women, the option of not having children can be liberating.
Women have always been expected to procreate and motherhood is seen as a duty. Little by little, there is a growing acceptance and understanding that life without children is a valid and legitimate option.
Women who choose not to be mothers do so for various reasons. Some women just don’t feel that desire and prefer to focus on their careers, relationships, or personal interests. Others may have experienced emotional or physical trauma that has led them to decide that motherhood is not for them.
Women who decide not to have children are often faced with intrusive questions and comments from friends, family and strangers, just like my dear twin friends. Some women may feel pressured to justify their choice, but the truth is, there is no right or wrong answer. The choice to have children or not to have them is personal and does not need to be justified.
Around the world, women who choose not to have children are often stigmatized and labeled as unusual, dissatisfied and unhappy. A 2016 study on the stigmatization of childless women and men in the magazine “Sex Roles“found that some people even feel moral outrage towards people who make such a decision. The Catholic Church has also expressed its disapproval, with Pope Francis declaring at an audience in St. Peter’s Square in 2015 that “choosing not to have children is selfish“.
For many women who have made the decision not to have children, the road ahead can be fraught with challenges and unanswered questions. They may wonder if they will experience loneliness in old age or lose connection with friends and family who have children. However, many women who do not have children find ways to create a full and satisfying life, often finding meaningful connections in other areas of life.
Ultimately, the choice to have children or not to have them is a decision that only the woman can make. It’s important that she feels comfortable with her choice and that she doesn’t feel pressured to do something she doesn’t want to do.
Life without children can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as life with children, and all options must be equally respected and valued.
What mothers are silent: truths about motherhood that few speak