Couple relationship: love or custom

Love is not always the main reason for maintaining a relationship. When two people spend a lot of time together, it is common for passion and magic to give way to monotony, leading one of them (or even both) to stay in that relationship for a long time. habitmore than for love.

The psychologist Patria Santana (@psic.patriasantana), sexual therapist and couplesexplains that both habit like love can have a great influence on our lives and our relationships with others. And while the former can make us feel comfortable and safe in a situation, it can also lead us to fall into negative patterns.

“The habit in a Relationship it can be negative if it becomes routine, monotony or lack of interest in the other person,” warns the @lotuscentrointegral expert, while pointing out that it can be positive if it involves healthy habits, such as mutual respect, open communication, dedication and support in difficult times.

how to tell them apart

Here are some differences that can help you identify if your relationship is still standing for love or habit:

  • Love focuses on the well-being and happiness of the other person, while the habit it may be more self-indulgent or routine.
  • Love is usually more intense, exciting and passionate. The habit it tends to be more stable, predictable and comfortable.
  • Love implies a deep personal connection, while habit It can be a superficial relationship based on external factors such as convenience, comfort, or financial security.
  • Love can overcome obstacles such as distance, time and conflicts, while the habit may be limited by them.
  • Love encourages personal growth and mutual improvement, while habit it can stall or inhibit that development.

Did your relationship fall into habit? This does not necessarily mean that it has to end, says the expert. “Identify that something is a habit it simply means that it has become a routine, but that does not mean that love has ended, ”he explains.

If the two of you are willing to work together to change that situation, it is possible to restore the spark in the relationship. “The important thing is not to settle and to look for solutions that allow the passion and love between them to be kept alive,” she says.

avoid falling into it


First of all, Santana clarifies that all relationships will have routines and that these are healthy and necessary. But to prevent the habit lead to stagnation, offers the following recommendations:

  • Keep good communication. Talking and listening are the cornerstones of any successful relationship. Communicate your feelings, your concerns and your desires with your partner to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Be detailed. Surprise your partner with small details that show your love and appreciation, such as a romantic dinner, flowers or a small gift.
  • Keep the romance alive. Do activities together like going for a walk, cooking, traveling or dancing to keep the flame of love burning.
  • Don’t try to change it. Accept your partner as they are, respect their decisions and value their differences.
  • Dedicate time for you. Do not lose your own identity and essence within the relationship. Take time for your personal space, your hobbies, friends and family.
  • Be flexible. Life is constantly changing, and a relationship needs to adapt to the changes. Keep an open and flexible attitude to the challenges and opportunities that arise.

Couple relationship: love or custom


“It is up to each individual to determine what is stronger in their own relationships, whether love or habit” Homeland Santana clinical psychologist