How family overload affects women


The delay in the age to have children and the increase in life expectancy of the elderly make up the hinge generation, the one that balances between the responsibilities of caring for their offspring and their ancestry, a burden to which is added work outside the home.

As explained by the Spanish psychologist and researcher Trinity Nunez, the possibility of reconciling personal and professional life has been one of the challenges that has marked contemporary women. She thus made it known during her intervention in the congress ‘Economy of care: new roles and challenges in gender equality’.

The figures confirm that housework is unevenly distributed. An example of this are the results of a survey published last year by the National Institute of Statistics, which offers data such as the number of weekly hours that women over 18 years of age dedicate to caring for or educating their children, caring for others family and domestic work is clearly higher than the number of weekly hours invested by men.

At the psychologist’s discretion Karen GonzalezThis has to do with the sociocultural concept that has been established of women. “Evolutionarily speaking, we women have dedicated ourselves to housework and parenting. Our predecessors divided tasks by gender and physical abilities. In modern times this is still the case because of this maternal-protective instinct that continues to characterize the female brain to a large extent, ”she indicates.

Likewise, he says that the fact that most men do not know how to exercise their role as father within the family influences that more responsibilities fall on the female sex. “Men do not have a clear idea of ​​what it means to show affection, tenderness and dialogue with those who depend on them,” she points out.

These are the consequences

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The family overload It has personal costs that are projected in stress and physical and mental exhaustion. In addition, it also has consequences for society, since the talents and abilities of half the population are wasted and, by reducing their chances of participating in political life, it prevents many women from being a reference for others, explains Núñez.

“Caring involves mental effort, because it requires organizing, planning, making decisions, and all of this involves expenditure of psychological energy. It also absorbs mental energy to be aware of other people’s pain, to mediate in family conflicts, it absorbs mental energy to accompany a medical visit or hold a cry “, external.

In this González agrees, who says that a woman who assumes the entire burden of the home is dehumanized of her most basic needs such as rest, sleep and food. I mean, she doesn’t have time to spend on herself and when she does, she feels guilty.

In the case of those who delegate responsibilities, Pilar Sepulvedamember of the Permanent Commission of the General Council of the Judiciary of Spain, expresses that a heavy burden also rests on his shoulders.

“The vast majority of working women are in charge of household logistics: who is going to take the child to school, who is going to cook the food, who picks up the child from school, who takes care of mom or grandma. So we are women who work on the street who have delegated to caregivers, but we have not freed ourselves from care, ”she says.

Although it is true that men are currently more involved in the home, the problem is that they continue to be women’s delegates. “The husband helps, but we are the ones who take care of saying ‘take care of this’ or ‘do this’. That is, in the end we are the direct caregivers,” she says.

The fact of having to assume household responsibilities directly influences men to occupy more positions of power than women in the workplace. And it is that, despite the fact that they receive the same opportunities, they do not even aspire to them, because they prioritize family well-being.

What can be done

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Identifying the situations experienced as working women and caregivers is essential to establish strategies for healthy functioning. To do this, the self-care guide ‘Mala de acostarme’, by María Martín Barranco, proposes to answer the following questions: are you unnecessarily punished for not being perfect? Do you get a space and time for self-care, to think about yourself and what you like? Do you have a leisure space and you can’t enjoy it properly?

Once you answer those questions, the psychologist Karen Gonzalez suggests putting the following tips into practice:

-Keep in mind that before being a mother you are human. Allow yourself to feel and live one day at a time, set operating limits and respect them and in the same way educate your children to respect them.

-Have a project, that space, place, act or thing that is yours and looks like you, that trade or hobby to go to as your ground anchor. You cannot make a role your identity.

-Surround yourself with healthy and realistic women. Do not choose relationships that challenge you to become what you are not, heal your relationships, heal your femininity and heal the generations of women that come after.

-Don’t follow the chain. The best inheritance you can give to the other is to free him from taking care of you. Break the mold of suffering, endless sacrifice and dare to be full, healthy and happy. Inherit your children the permission to be free.

Source-www.diariolibre.com