How to set limits on our children

In our segment “with the psychologist“, expert Johanny Quiroz (@psic.johannyquiroz), a child psychologist specializing in healthy parenting, child abuse prevention and sexual education, addresses the delicate issue of how to set boundaries in the education of children. And no, there is no magic formula, acknowledges the expert, but there are some tricks that we are going to explain to you.

1. The best formula that we can use as parents to establish boundaries clear with our children is the empathybecause being able to put yourself in your child’s shoes helps a lot to establish boundaries clear.

2. The boundaries first they come from me, if I do not recognize and do not know my boundaries Before wanting to do it with my children, it will be very difficult for me. I know the boundaries but maybe I’ve never had them.

3. It is very easy to explain them to young children, for example by telling them that skin is a limit that helps me protect my body, or traffic lights are boundarieseven on the roads there are always signs that are boundaries on our route that indicate that there may be danger ahead.

4. If you start to establish boundaries from an early age it will be easier to add other boundaries that are necessary, depending on the age of your child.

5. If it is a small child you have to explain it with graphics or books; if it is bigger you can do it with normal words.


6. When putting boundaries persistence is very important. If you are going to set a schedule or a routine at home, it must be maintained, it must be consistent so that it can be achieved. boundaries in a healthy way.

7. We must be as respectful as possible, first with the stage of development in which our children are, and second, with respect for their time and space. Sometimes we want to put boundaries above your needs, spaces and tastes and it is very important to know all this before implementing new boundaries.

8. The boundaries they are like an invisible line, something that cannot be seen. When I say “I can’t, I don’t like it, I don’t want to” I am putting boundaries, that’s why establishing them must be as clear as water: “Don’t you want more tickles?”, Well, I stop since my son is setting a limit. If I don’t stop, I’m telling him that when I say NO, he won’t stop either.

How to set limits on our children


Johanny Quiroz, child psychologist, specializing in healthy parenting, abuse prevention and child sex education. (FELIX LEON)

9. It is important that boundaries occur in the child’s daily life, so that it is easier to establish new boundariesalways remembering that we are not establishing them for ourselves, although in part we do, but so that it helps them in their adult lives.

10. When setting boundaries we tend to be a little selfish and we tend to think about what I want my son to achieve and what I don’t want my son to do. It is in his adult life that these boundaries they are going to help him, where he is going to put them into practice, and if not, look how many times you have put boundaries in your life, at work, with your partner, even on the street when you’re driving…

11. It is important that you anticipate to your son what is going to happen, if it is important to you when you go to the supermarket that he does not throw a tantrum or crave something that you are not going to buy, it is important that you explain to him ‘we are going to the supermarket, but today there are no sweets, or we are only going to buy x things’, that way your child will have the information before arriving and it will be easier for you to handle the tantrum if it occurs.