The suffering of a mother: “She poisoned my child to punish me”

This story started with crying. How could it be any other way?! It’s from a mother whose ex-partner poisoned her only child. “I never thought that that man, that bastard… would do such a thing. It wasn’t my son’s fault that I ignored him. He was me, it was me that he had to take my life.” That was repeated over and over again by the woman whose life this event changed.

The story is as sad as it is strong. She never imagined that when she returned to her house after finishing her domestic work, she would find the lifeless body of her little son lying on the floor of her small room. Hard not to cry with her.

“I work three days a week, and regularly, a neighbor would pick up my child at school and take him home as soon as I arrived. That day…”. She cries inconsolably and has a hard time telling this part. Now that all those present are a little calmer, her mother continues her story: “That man went and looked for him at school. There he met my neighbor and told her that he was taking him home. She, since it was her father, well, she didn’t object. Who would have thought that this man would give to take the life of his own son?”. Is better shut up.

“He bought him juice and there he threw the poison”

This mother, who claims it is the first time she has talked about the subject, has not been able to “raise her head” again. In fact, she has been for almost five years and there is not a day that she does not cry for her little one. “He was a very happy, intelligent, affectionate boy… he was crazy with that dad, and look how he betrayed him.” He invades her crying again and you have to understand her.

He settles into the deteriorated plastic chair that he ‘armored’ with the wall so as not to fall in the small patio of his home. She feels more secure and, while she continues to cry, she fixes what little hair she has left. “Look, even the bows have fallen out on me. Since that day I have never been the same person inside or out.”. At this moment the “i” that identifies the cibaeño resonates.

“It has been hard to tell this hard story, but well. When I get home, I find him lying down, I thought he was passed out, I call the neighbors and they come to help me. One of them said that he was dead because he saw a white foam in his mouth. I couldn’t believe it, my God, what a tragedy!” He cries inconsolably.

It was one of the neighbors who has a grocery store, the one who said that the father went with the boy and bought him juice and cookies. On the floor they saw little plastic bags that they immediately guessed was poison. Indeed, it was. Around 6:00 in the afternoon when the mother arrived and found her dead son, he had already died several hours.

She admits that on several occasions her ex-partner, with whom she had her only child, told her: “You’re going to pay me.” But she never imagined that he would give so much just because she did not want to reconcile with the one who was unfaithful to her and, as if that were not enough of her, he physically and verbally abused her. After committing the act, the executioner took his own life by hanging himself from a tree a bit close to home.

vicarious violence

This is the name of the action that the father committed against his son. Psychologist and expert in mental philosophy Olga María Renville explains that this type of violence finds meaning when a person lashes out at his/her son to punish her partner. In the Dominican Republic there are many cases of this nature. Sometimes the perpetrator also takes his own life, although sometimes, he does not do it to see those who want to cause him the terrible pain of losing his son or daughter suffer.

After taking his child’s life, he committed suicide

“Seeing my lifeless son, my little boy, my everything… lying on the floor was something I couldn’t bear. I would have wanted a million times for him to kill me, to hurt me, not an innocent child, a seven-year-old ‘baby’. It’s not fair what he did.” This is told through tears by the mother who suffers from having been punished by her ex-partner with the death of her own son.

The day after committing the act, the lifeless body of her little boy’s father was found hanging in a tree near the house where the boy lived with his mother. “I’m not happy that he took his own life, but I can’t deny that it reassures me because God knows all the people who were hurting him to punish me.” She says it and then reiterates: “It was with me that he had to vent that fury because I was the one who didn’t want to go back to him.”

She does not know the definition of vicarious violence that Renville explains above, but she is clear that it is a mistake to harm children to punish the mother or father. “Because I know of women who have attacked their children to take revenge on their husbands. It is that Satan is loose and nobody wants to believe it. She makes reference to this convinced that the world is dominated by evil. She doesn’t want other mothers to go through what she has been through.

“We are in the last. Because you know what that is, a father killing his own son knowing that this child was sick with him, and that it gave us so much trouble to have him. I lasted like four months lying down to be able to have my son”. A napkin holds the tears.

knows how to thank

Although it has been nearly five years since this event, this mother carries a suffering that accompanies her at all times. She has not attempted against her life nor has she fallen into vices because her family, where she has been providing her domestic services for 16 years, has helped her cope with this situation.

“In them I have found a true family. When they found out that this man was mistreating me, they sat me down and talked to me so that he would move me away. At first I didn’t want to do it out of fear, but then I got up the courage and left it. I moved, but he found out where and there he went, apparently for good because he believed that my people were protecting me. He lasted a time as a saint. On weekends he would take the boy, and when he would take him back to me he would tell me to forgive him. The first time I did it and we lasted about seven months. He went back to the same thing and I left him. It was a torture”. His eyes show his desolation and the suffering that accompanies it.

In his story he emphasizes that giving him that opportunity was his worst mistake. “That’s when I woke up that monster that he had inside. He chased me, he called me, he threatened me… ”. He doesn’t cry, but he is silent. A restraining order was not enough, moving, even to a town near the capital, either. “Wherever I was. That’s why I moved back to the neighborhood because everyone there knows me and could protect us, but it didn’t work, my son killed me.” His crying is as if he just lost his child.

Remake your life

“It traumatized me.” That is what she means by a word that she uses in substitution for this term and that had to be “translated”. She has not had a partner again because she is terrified of going through hell again, as she calls the situation she went through. At just 33 years old, she assures: “I withdrew from love because that for me was pain.”

He took the opportunity to ask the authorities for greater protection against domestic violence. “And, above all, that children be taken care of because it is not fair for a child to pay for the mistakes of adults, and that is happening a lot here. Pay attention to the complaints that are made of violence, and know that there are men and women harming their own children. He concludes by way of advice.